Money is such a weird thing to talk about. It always feels taboo, and I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe it’s the shame society wraps around finances. Maybe it’s because people have been taken advantage of, or because money really does set people apart. It’s seen as private, but I’ve never understood that. I wish more people talked about money openly and honestly. Struggling alone is no fun. Knowledge is power, right? Misery loves company, sure… but I’m not miserable and I don’t want you to be either. I just want to share a little piece of my reality with you. Maybe it helps you feel better about your own situation. Maybe it just helps you feel a little less alone.

In an effort to take a more honest look at my finances, I bought a budget dashboard. I’ve been tracking our expenses since the beginning of the year because I finally wanted to know where our money was going. Before this, I was just focused on buying a house and surviving. I definitely could’ve spent my money better in my 20s, but such is life. You live and you learn.

I’ve barely scratched the surface of filling out the dashboard, and already it’s asking the tough question; like whether a purchase is a need or a want. Well… fuck. I buy a lot of shit I just want. But also? I don’t buy useless crap. So that’s something to grapple with.

Like I mentioned, I’ve been tracking our expenses for a while now, and no surprise, groceries are our biggest cost. We’re a family of four who eats every meal at home. I work from home. My partner is a stay-at-home parent. My preteen homeschools. My toddler is here. We are all home, all day, eating all the time. Shit is expensive. I’d like to get our grocery spending a little lower. I’ll share actual numbers in a future post once I have them all laid out.

I also know I’ve spent extra on the garden. Hobbies aren’t cheap to start or to maintain (I’m a crafter, I know how this goes). And honestly? I’m not sure the money has been worth it yet. I’m frustrated with the garden, which definitely colors my opinion. But I’m stubborn, so I’ll keep at it. Check back to see if it finally brings me joy. I do love the flowers. They’re beautiful. So maybe it has brought me some joy? Whatever. It’s annoying.

Money touches everything; our routines, our choices, our joy, and our stress. I have no idea what I’m doing. But I’m trying to be more intentional, more aware, and more honest with myself. Tracking where our money goes has already taught me a lot about what I value, what I want more of, and what I’m willing to let go of. I’ll keep sharing what I learn along the way, because if we’re all figuring it out anyway, we might as well do it together.