Any millennial knows that buying a house has become the holy grail. Something most of us dream about but can’t actually do. So let me be honest from the start:  I wouldn’t have been able to buy a house if my mom hadn’t died.

Fuck.

I’m a millennial in my 30s. I graduated high school right after the 2008 recession, so I missed out on all the housing crash deals. I was just getting my career going during the chaos of COVID. Again, not in a financial position to benefit from anything then either. My income wasn’t consistent and I wasn’t in a place to buy a home, no matter how much I wanted to.

Back in 2019, I started seriously saving for a house. I was stashing away anything I could. I started teaching and finally had consistent income. I was proud of what I was building. Then life happened, as it does. I left my daughter’s dad and had to use some savings to survive. Then I got pregnant and used more of that savings to pay for my midwife because I wanted a home birth (I’ll share about that, too). Then, in 2023, my mom died and I had to take time off work to grieve and to breathe, plus I was 7 months pregnant. And again, I dipped into my savings to get through.

When she died, my mom left me some life insurance money.  That money is the reason I was able to stay home with my son for a year and buy a house.

All of this happened within about a year. Here’s a short timeline.

• June 2023: My mom passed away. I stopped working.
• August 2023: I gave birth to my son.
• August 2024: I bought a house and returned to work.

Yeah. It was fucking crazy

The Numbers: What It Took to Buy a House

Let’s talk actual numbers because transparency matters, and people deserve to see what this really looks like.

• The house was listed at $320,000
• We negotiated down to $315,000 because the septic tank has a crack
• Our loan is for $270,000 at an interest rate of 6.325%
• Our monthly payment is $2,229.45, but I round it up and pay $2,300/month

Here’s the wild part:
I’ve made 9 payments of $2,300 — which adds up to about $20,700 so far.
And in that time? My loan balance has only gone down by $3,200.

The system is… something.

But I have a house. I have stability. I have a yard, and walls, and a place for my kids to grow. And even though the numbers and the reality of how I got here make me want to scream, I’m still incredibly thankful.

Buying this house wasn’t a triumph of financial planning. It wasn’t a reward for grinding it out or saving perfectly. It happened because of loss. A huge loss, I miss my mom. While I’m grateful for what I have, I’m also painfully aware of what it cost me to get here.

If you’re still waiting to buy your first home or wondering why it feels impossible, I see you. I was there. And I won’t pretend it’s easy, or that it just takes hustle. 

Sometimes it takes tragedy and that’s the truth we don’t say out loud.

Money is such a weird thing to talk about. It always feels taboo, and I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe it’s the shame society wraps around finances. Maybe it’s because people have been taken advantage of, or because money really does set people apart. It’s seen as private, but I’ve never understood that. I wish more people talked about money openly and honestly. Struggling alone is no fun. Knowledge is power, right? Misery loves company, sure… but I’m not miserable and I don’t want you to be either. I just want to share a little piece of my reality with you. Maybe it helps you feel better about your own situation. Maybe it just helps you feel a little less alone.

In an effort to take a more honest look at my finances, I bought a budget dashboard. I’ve been tracking our expenses since the beginning of the year because I finally wanted to know where our money was going. Before this, I was just focused on buying a house and surviving. I definitely could’ve spent my money better in my 20s, but such is life. You live and you learn.

I’ve barely scratched the surface of filling out the dashboard, and already it’s asking the tough question; like whether a purchase is a need or a want. Well… fuck. I buy a lot of shit I just want. But also? I don’t buy useless crap. So that’s something to grapple with.

Like I mentioned, I’ve been tracking our expenses for a while now, and no surprise, groceries are our biggest cost. We’re a family of four who eats every meal at home. I work from home. My partner is a stay-at-home parent. My preteen homeschools. My toddler is here. We are all home, all day, eating all the time. Shit is expensive. I’d like to get our grocery spending a little lower. I’ll share actual numbers in a future post once I have them all laid out.

I also know I’ve spent extra on the garden. Hobbies aren’t cheap to start or to maintain (I’m a crafter, I know how this goes). And honestly? I’m not sure the money has been worth it yet. I’m frustrated with the garden, which definitely colors my opinion. But I’m stubborn, so I’ll keep at it. Check back to see if it finally brings me joy. I do love the flowers. They’re beautiful. So maybe it has brought me some joy? Whatever. It’s annoying.

Money touches everything; our routines, our choices, our joy, and our stress. I have no idea what I’m doing. But I’m trying to be more intentional, more aware, and more honest with myself. Tracking where our money goes has already taught me a lot about what I value, what I want more of, and what I’m willing to let go of. I’ll keep sharing what I learn along the way, because if we’re all figuring it out anyway, we might as well do it together.